Static site feedback: About page copy rewrite draft

Brian Jordan bcjordan at gmail.com
Mon Mar 2 17:07:20 EST 2009


On Mon, Mar 2, 2009 at 4:54 PM, Sean DALY <sdaly.be at gmail.com> wrote:

> On Mon, Mar 2, 2009 at 10:35 PM, Walter Bender <walter.bender at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> > Looking good. I think we are very close to Release.
> >
> > nitpics:
> >
> > * I think sticking to "almost one-million children worldwide in over
> > 40 countries" is tighter than "more than 750,000 children worldwide in
> > over 40 countries, with 900,000 projected by the end of 2009" and
> > within reason in terms of expressing an estimation.
>
> Sounds good - the main thing is to be consistent from one page to the next.
>
> >
> > * I liked your earlier suggestion about mentioning i18n. Maybe
> > Sayamindu can give an accurate estimate there, but the Sugar Fructose
> > is over 67% complete in 26 languages.
> >
> > * is "Intel Macs" the correct phrase?
>
> Yes, Mac-heads differentiate between "PPC Macs" (IBM Motorola
> G3/G4/G5) and "Intel Macs"; only the latter can run x86 Windows,
> GNU/Linux and BSDs. Some PPC implementations of Linux exist, but as
> the most recent of these machines is now 4 years old or so and the
> virtualization offer is poor, everyone is concentrating on the Intel
> Macs.
> Some rework this phrase into "recent Macs" which might be the way to go.
>
>
One consideration is that Intel Macs themselves can run other operating
systems (Ubuntu, Fedora, Windows etc), perhaps the point is that there's an
emulator for OS X specifically?


>
> >
> > * s^which^that (at least in my Style Book)
> >
> > * should we mention that the collaboration does not require Internet
> access?
>
> yes, good idea
>
> >
> > -walter
> > - Show quoted text -
> > On Mon, Mar 2, 2009 at 4:19 PM, Sean DALY <sdaly.be at gmail.com> wrote:
> >> briefly:
> >>
> >> * 750,000 <> one-million (homepage number) so I fudged by stating a
> >> projection. But this inconsistency needs to be squared away.
> >>
> >> * added an age range... ballpark?
> >>
> >> * harped on Activities
> >>
> >> * boosted collaborative aspect
> >>
> >> * mentioned compatibility with old/slow PCs... the bane of every teacher
> >>
> >>
> >> thanks
> >> Sean
> >>
> >> ****************** about ******************
> >>
> >> What is Sugar?
> >>
> >> The Sugar Learning Platform is a computer environment composed of
> >> Activities designed to help children from 6 to 12 years of age learn
> >> together through rich-media expression. Sugar is the core component of
> >> a worldwide effort to provide every child with the opportunity for a
> >> quality education—it is currently used by more than 750,000 children
> >> worldwide in over 40 countries, with 900,000 projected by the end of
> >> 2009. Sugar provides the means to help people lead fulfilling lives
> >> through access to a quality education that is currently missed by so
> >> many. Originally developed for the revolutionary One Laptop per Child
> >> XO-1 netbook, Sugar can run on small and slow PCs—often the case in
> >> the classroom. Sugar is now packaged as part of most major GNU/Linux
> >> distributions and is compatible with Intel Macs using virtualization.
> >> A liveCD which does not touch the existing hard disk installation is
> >> available; a liveUSB stick which can run on most PCs  is under active
> >> development.
> >>
> >> Why Sugar?
> >> Sugar sets aside the traditional "office-desktop" metaphor and,
> >> through its Activities, engages even the youngest learners in the use
> >> of computation as a powerful “thing to think with.” They quickly
> >> become proficient in using the computer as a tool to engage in
> >> authentic problem-solving. Moreover, most Sugar Activities can be
> >> shared by learners between machines—children learn as a group, not as
> >> a collection of individual users. Sugar users develop skills that help
> >> them in all aspects of life.
> >>
> >> What is Sugar Labs?
> >> Sugar Labs is a non-profit foundation whose mission is to support the
> >> Sugar community of users and developers and establish regional,
> >> autonomous “Sugar Labs” around the world to tailor Sugar to local
> >> languages and curricula. Sugar Labs volunteers are passionate about
> >> providing education to children.
> >>
> >> ****************** /about ******************
> >>
> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > Walter Bender
> > Sugar Labs
> > http://www.sugarlabs.org
> >
> _______________________________________________
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