Static site feedback: About page copy rewrite draft

[Sean DALY]

On Mon, Mar 2, 2009 at 10:35 PM, Walter Bender <walter.bender at gmail.com> wrote:
> Looking good. I think we are very close to Release.
>
> nitpics:
>
> * I think sticking to "almost one-million children worldwide in over
> 40 countries" is tighter than "more than 750,000 children worldwide in
> over 40 countries, with 900,000 projected by the end of 2009" and
> within reason in terms of expressing an estimation.

Sounds good - the main thing is to be consistent from one page to the next.

>
> * I liked your earlier suggestion about mentioning i18n. Maybe
> Sayamindu can give an accurate estimate there, but the Sugar Fructose
> is over 67% complete in 26 languages.
>
> * is "Intel Macs" the correct phrase?

Yes, Mac-heads differentiate between "PPC Macs" (IBM Motorola
G3/G4/G5) and "Intel Macs"; only the latter can run x86 Windows,
GNU/Linux and BSDs. Some PPC implementations of Linux exist, but as
the most recent of these machines is now 4 years old or so and the
virtualization offer is poor, everyone is concentrating on the Intel
Macs.
Some rework this phrase into "recent Macs" which might be the way to go.


>
> * s^which^that (at least in my Style Book)
>
> * should we mention that the collaboration does not require Internet access?

yes, good idea

>
> -walter
> - Show quoted text -
> On Mon, Mar 2, 2009 at 4:19 PM, Sean DALY <sdaly.be at gmail.com> wrote:
>> briefly:
>>
>> * 750,000 <> one-million (homepage number) so I fudged by stating a
>> projection. But this inconsistency needs to be squared away.
>>
>> * added an age range... ballpark?
>>
>> * harped on Activities
>>
>> * boosted collaborative aspect
>>
>> * mentioned compatibility with old/slow PCs... the bane of every teacher
>>
>>
>> thanks
>> Sean
>>
>> ****************** about ******************
>>
>> What is Sugar?
>>
>> The Sugar Learning Platform is a computer environment composed of
>> Activities designed to help children from 6 to 12 years of age learn
>> together through rich-media expression. Sugar is the core component of
>> a worldwide effort to provide every child with the opportunity for a
>> quality education—it is currently used by more than 750,000 children
>> worldwide in over 40 countries, with 900,000 projected by the end of
>> 2009. Sugar provides the means to help people lead fulfilling lives
>> through access to a quality education that is currently missed by so
>> many. Originally developed for the revolutionary One Laptop per Child
>> XO-1 netbook, Sugar can run on small and slow PCs—often the case in
>> the classroom. Sugar is now packaged as part of most major GNU/Linux
>> distributions and is compatible with Intel Macs using virtualization.
>> A liveCD which does not touch the existing hard disk installation is
>> available; a liveUSB stick which can run on most PCs  is under active
>> development.
>>
>> Why Sugar?
>> Sugar sets aside the traditional "office-desktop" metaphor and,
>> through its Activities, engages even the youngest learners in the use
>> of computation as a powerful “thing to think with.” They quickly
>> become proficient in using the computer as a tool to engage in
>> authentic problem-solving. Moreover, most Sugar Activities can be
>> shared by learners between machines—children learn as a group, not as
>> a collection of individual users. Sugar users develop skills that help
>> them in all aspects of life.
>>
>> What is Sugar Labs?
>> Sugar Labs is a non-profit foundation whose mission is to support the
>> Sugar community of users and developers and establish regional,
>> autonomous “Sugar Labs” around the world to tailor Sugar to local
>> languages and curricula. Sugar Labs volunteers are passionate about
>> providing education to children.
>>
>> ****************** /about ******************
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Walter Bender
> Sugar Labs
> http://www.sugarlabs.org
>