Hi Caryl The abstract does not paint a picture of "it's an education project". This applies to the whole abstract. You can even use these words "it's an education project" if it helps you clarify that Sugar is all about the learning. e.g. "A. Moodle: similar to BlackBoard, but free. You do pay for support if needed" Moodle is not similar to Blackboard - Moodle is based on a social constructionist pedagogy, you would find some similar theories to those floating around the education research office at MIT Media Labs. Try writing: Moodle: a learning management system designed with a social constructionist pedagogy as a guide. It is distributed under GPL so is free to use and has a community of support available as well as paid support. So now lets take the opening: <blockquote style="margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding-left: 1ex;" class="gmail_quote">This presentation will focus on free educational software that can be run on most computers from a usb thumb-drive or live CD: Sugar on a Stick (SoaS). This software is helpful when no internet is available, you do not wish students to have access to the web, or you do not wish to permanently install something new on the computer. </blockquote> This presentation will focus on the education tool known as Sugar on a Stick (SoaS); a learning platform that can run from a USB thumb drive or live CD, without need for installing anything onto a schools computers. <div class="text"><div class="headline">Then perhaps quote Sugar Labs website: "The award-winning Sugar Learning Platform promotes collaborative learning through Sugar Activities that encourage critical thinking, the heart of a quality education. Designed from the ground up especially for children, Sugar offers an alternative to traditional “office-desktop” software."</div></div> As far as I know CUE2011 is a conference for educators who use computers, so try to appeal more to the educators. Hope this helps. Good luck! Kind regards Tabitha Roder eLearning specialist and olpc volunteer <a href="mailto:tabitha@tabitha.net.nz">tabitha@tabitha.net.nz</a> Cell +64 21 482229 <a href="http://tabitharoder.wordpress.com/">http://tabitharoder.wordpress.com/</a> <a href="http://tabitharoder.blogspot.com/">http://tabitharoder.blogspot.com/</a> On 9 October 2010 12:14, Caryl Bigenho <<a href="mailto:cbigenho@hotmail.com">cbigenho@hotmail.com</a>> wrote: > > Hi Folks... > I'm working on the abstract for my proposed presentation at CUE 2011 in Palm Springs in March. The filing deadline is Monday, but I was hoping to put it in tomorrow morning since we will be traveling Sunday. They asked for an outline of the presentation in the abstract, that is why it is in that form. I want to focus mainly on Sugar and SoaS for this talk but still put in stuff about OLPC and volunteering. > If you have a few minutes to look over my attached abstract and give me suggestions for additions or corrections, I would really appreciated it! > Thanks, > Caryl > _______________________________________________ > IAEP -- It's An Education Project (not a laptop project!) > <a href="mailto:IAEP@lists.sugarlabs.org">IAEP@lists.sugarlabs.org</a> > <a href="http://lists.sugarlabs.org/listinfo/iaep">http://lists.sugarlabs.org/listinfo/iaep</a>